The comedy genius behind ‘Superstore’ imagines the office of the future—and it’s a nightmare

Justin Spitzer has built a career studying and creating comedy out of workplace dynamics, first as a writer for seven years on the sitcom The Office, and next as the showrunner, creator, and producer of the past four seasons of NBC’s Superstore, starring America Ferrera, which follows a group of employees working at a fictional megastore in St. Louis, Missouri.

Here, he presents two potential scenarios for what workplace culture might look like in 20 years:

THE OPTIMISTIC SCENARIO

Pretty much all offices will be virtual. People will log into the workspace from the comfort of their own homes. Geography will no longer be an impediment for employees to find the best jobs, or employers to find the best workforce, and “commutes” will be no longer than the amount of time it takes to log in to the network.

Employees will appear in this virtual world as whatever avatars they choose. Since everyone’s real-world appearances will be hidden, there’ll be no more discrimination based on race, age, gender, or disability. Our avatars will grow ever more adventurous. You might look into the next cubicle and discover Cthulhu checking your expense reports. Or walk past a conference room and see George Clooney giving a presentation to Margot Robbie, Genghis Khan, a cartoon pencil, and a second George Clooney.

Speaking of conference rooms, it will be difficult keeping people engaged during meetings. After a few minutes, some avatars will appear frozen, as their users go off to the gym or midday drinks.

Masturbation will also be a problem. As long as you remember to disconnect your VR haptic bodysuit from the grid, you’ll be fine, but if you forget, then your coworkers will observe your avatar making oddly suspicious hand motions in the area of your avatar’s invisible genitals.

Our virtual offices will be infinitely customizable. Even the lowliest entry-level worker will be able to design for himself a corner office, or decide to work in a replica of the West Wing, or on Mars, or in a Monet painting. Nevertheless, everyone will still complain about how much they hate their office and how jealous they are of their coworkers’ offices, which they clearly don’t deserve.